Canadian Down Under

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Not to make you more homesick...

but this is another one of my favourites:



















Recognise where it is? Posted by Picasa

BBC - What does it stand for?

Is it 'British Broadcasting Corporation"? or maybe "Big Blunder Corporation" ? The later seems more appropriate!

Apparently they interviewed the wrong 'Guy' . Read about it here .

To help him get a job - since he missed his actual interview - sign the petition here. (I never sign petitions as a rule, but thought this was a worthy and just cause...)

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I'm a bad, bad girl

I really tried to be good.

Really.

I tried to stop myself.

Well, okay, I thought about trying to stop myself, but no, it didn't really seem to work.

See, I went to Pilates tonight - all good!! Doing a little exercise, trying to get back into the fitness thing now that I've basically recovered from the lurgy..... But as I was going out the door, I realised I really have no food in the house - I knew I'd be too lazy to cook after Pilates - and I have limited amount of cash because of my severe self-imposed budget (I don't get 'paid' til Thursday according to my ridiculous schedule I've built for myself). So.... I relented - I decided with the remaining $5 I have left til Thursday, I would buy some fast food on the way home.

But I was good - I mentally said 'no' to McDonalds. That left me with Subway (which I said 'no' to as well because, well...because it wasn't appealing to me tonight) or Jester's. At Jester's you can get a real traditional Aussie pie (I'm sure some Aussie's think they're horrible, but to a Australian foreigner (like my new name for myself??) like me - they work...)

On leaving the Pilates studio, I ducked across the street to Jesters, mulling over which pie I should have: steak and mushroom? chicken and asparagus? or some other fabulous combo they might have on offer.

But then I got there and you know what they had?? I was reading the menu board but my eyes kept dropping to the glass counter top where the cookies were. And you know what? Their chocolate chip cookies almost gleamed!! And you know what else? They were only $2.50. I looked for a pie that was only $2.50 so I could have a pie and a cookie - but alas, they were all more expensive than that.

And you know what else? They also had these chocolate peanut cluster things and they were also only $2.50.

Kind of decision made doncha think?

Yum. I started with the chocolate peanut cluster but couldn't eat it all because it was so sweet and I've only gotten halfway through the yummy chocolate chip cookie. I've put both in the fridge so I don't completely do a sugar overload.

See? It really takes so little to make me happy!!

One Glass of Wine

and my head is thumping today!!

When did I become such a lightweight?????

(Okay - maybe I had two....)

Monday, May 29, 2006

Three chocolate chip cookies and a glass of wine

My dinner tonight. I'd have more of either one if I could but have run out of both.

Damn.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Broken

I seem to be rather morose lately, so I'm going to apologise in advance for this post, but I've had waaaaay too much time to think.

So based on my 6 hours of thinking since I got home from work, I've decided that I'm broken. There's something inherently wrong with me and I'm not sure it can be fixed.

I can go through life and appear quite normal - I've made many friends, hold a good job - actually a really good job, do interesting things with my time like try to learn the guitar, take a writing course, get involved in sports. If I stop there - I not only appear normal, I actually am normal. But once you add a guy to that mix? Game over. I become someone unrecognisable to myself.

Unrecognisable. Not because necessarily of what I do (although last Saturday was not one of my finer moments...), but because of how I think. It suddenly becomes so important to me what somebody else thinks of me that I stop being me. And my many hours of thinking tonight has led me to the conclusion that I'm afraid to be me because I'm afraid of rejection.

Now I know that's a normal feeling - especially when getting to know someone new - someone you really like - but I seem to take it to extremes. I read every nuance, every silence as something significant and twist and turn every word for some hidden meaning. And I become something I don't like, so I can't for the life of me figure out how someone else could like it.

In talking to two of my friends recently, they both, in completely separate conversations with no knowledge of what the other said (they've never even met) told me I was damaged. That I needed to tell this new guy that . Now, you know, I don't necessarily think the sharing of past relationships is vital, necessary or even a good idea when starting something new, so I'm a slow convert to their idea. And if necessary (and I was adamantly told after Saturday, it was necessary in order to explain my behaviour) I can't help but think 'well, so what?" It's not the new guy's problem - and if its true - should I really be trying to embark on something new?

I don't think my past history is anything better or worse than others have experience (though my friends have assured that perhaps I need to re-think that) but I will agree I seem to have taken the ugliness of it to heart (does that make any sense??)

I don't think I can do this new thing. I think I may be permanently broken.

In trouble again!!!

sigh... Will I never learn?

So my mouth - or perhaps my typing fingers - have got me into trouble again. Now, normally I'd apologise - or just laugh about it - but I can't remember when I did it or in what context! Making it very difficult to defend or explain...

One of my friends' no longer signs off her emails with her signature, she just signs them 'pit bull'.

Sounds like something I'd say, but damned if I can remember!!!

Editor's note: Just found out why... click here to understand.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

You can't HANDLE the truth

What a great line!! Jack should have been paid extra for that one.

So tonight is Thursday night. The night of 'late night' shopping. The night where stores in Sydney are open to 8 pm. (I can hear the gasps!) Yes, this wildly advanced city has late night shopping!! ONE night a week! What a revolutionary idea....if you're living in the 50s!!!!

It's amazing how much you can take for granted. When I first moved here, it never even occurred to me that a mall would close at 6 pm. (And the truth is, the stores actually close at 5:45 pm so the employees can leave by 6. Never, NEVER would happen at Yorkdale or Fairview, let me tell you. That would cause an absolute riot! and get the stores fined by the mall administration)

But never mind. I was out. And since there's only one night of late night shopping, of course it was completely chockers... Tried to throw away some cash - major cash in fact when I tried to buy a suit, but when the sales lady ignored me, I decided I didn't want to give them my money.... Not that I'm petulant or anything.

But I finally did manage to open the wallet. Mind you, it was in the book store and not clothing - which is what I actually do need. But I digress......

So, I've got my handful of books and I'm waiting in the queue (aka 'the line' for my fellow Canadians) and I'm waiting. And I'm waiting. See....they only have one cashier. But as luck would have it when I'm next in line, a new cashier shows up. He rings up my books. Looks at them. Scans them again. Plays with the cash register keypad. Looks at them again.

I start tapping my foot. And it's really not hard to mistake what I'm doing considering I'm wearing heels (still in my suit) and tapping those suckers against a tiled floor is no quiet event

Finally, the cashier guy spews out some number. From the way things have progressed, I'm beginning to believe it's just a random number but I handed over my credit card anyway. As he's processing things (and trust me, this is not going quickly) I look at the books again to see how much they cost (I never checked originally - oops!) and add them up in my head to see if he's charged me the right amount.

Seeing as he's watching me (instead of doing anything constructive, like ringing through my credit card) he notices me checking up on him and asks "Did you want to ask me something?"

Surprised at his question, I quickly answer no. But in my head a different conversation is taking place. One where I answer "Yes, I do have a question. CAN YOU HURRY THE FUCK UP?"

I really don't think he could've handled the truth. But damn it, would have been fun to watch him try!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

It's official - I'm crazy

In the cold harsh light of early morning, I realised that I probably just won the trophy for best argument picker last night.

I think I could have a conversation with a rock and manage to feel slighted.

Sigh. Think I'm going to have to use the 's' word (sorry). Let's hope I haven't completely blown it....

Saturday, May 20, 2006

And then it all went horribly wrong

I have to confess, I haven't been very forthcoming. The boy from last week was actually the fuckwit. The date tonight was also the fuckwit. (Scroll through to find the story, I've had too much wine to actually build links tonight.....)

I believed him when he said he liked me. I believed him when he said he was interested and wanted to get to know me. I believed my friends when they told me it would be a bad idea to sleep with him again.

Seems only one of the above three statements was right. Unfortunately my friends have far better judgment capabilities than I do.

I hate to think it was a mistake. My gut was telling me it was all good. Seriously! I know I usually ignore my guy, but this time it was with me, not against me.

Bad time for the gut to go all wrong.

So yes, despite very good advice from friends, I slept with him. That wasn't the problem. The problem was the speed with which he departed the bedroom afterward. The ensuing conversation eventually evolved to the point that he said he couldn't win and suggested in not so many words the evening was over. So I said "are you saying its time for me to leave?" To which he responded in the affirmative.

I got my stuff, used the bathroom (it was a long walk home) and then on my way out - did what any good Irish-blooded woman would do - I bombed every and all remaining bridges. It went something along the lines of "Maybe this is where I show I'm hotheaded, but I'm not used to sleeping with someone and then within 30 minutes being asked to leave"

I showed myself out - and funny enough he didn't try to stop me, follow me or call me.

How did I get it so, so wrong??

Friday, May 19, 2006

Saturday night

I have a date.

It's all good!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I wish I had a sister

I have three older brothers and this is how they show me how important I am to them:

Brother #1
Can't make my goodbye party at my mother's house when I was leaving Canada for Australia because he was 'working'.... on a Sunday afternoon.... Never showed up at my mother's house (and yes, at the moment, she's just mine) despite his office being in her basement flat.

Brother #2
Initially refuses to pick me up at the airport on a planned trip to visit him and his family because he got a better offer to go drinking. Then after agreeing to pick me up is a complete no-show, leaving me in the hands of a seriously scary taxi driver. (I've travelled a lot - and this one scared the shit out of me...)

Brother #3
Forgets we've arranged that I'll stop in London on my way to Ireland to see him and plans trips with girlfriend and her kids. If that wasn't bad enough, he then says its my fault we won't be able to see each other for a couple of years because I live too far away.

They're all fuckers.

I'm sure a sister would have been better.....

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

One Week

It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said "I'm angry"
.......
It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the airand said "You're crazy"
.......
It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides and said "I'm
sorry"

Courtesy BNL

I have the patience of a gnat!!!!! Not that I know exactly how much patience a gnat has - but I'm guessing cause they're so small, that's not saying much.

If you don't know what I'm talking about - click
here for a clue...

Monday, May 15, 2006

I am so NOT a good employee today...

I'm trying, but I just can't make myself work..... Really, I have things to do - but am I doing them??? Nope. It's only lunch, but I've pretty much written off today.

Think I might go shop...

Friday, May 12, 2006

Narcolepsy

Narcolepsy
"Narcolepsy is a chronic neurological disorder caused by the brain's inability to regulate sleep-wake cycles normally. At various times throughout the day, people with narcolepsy experience fleeting urges to sleep. If the urge becomes overwhelming, individuals will fall asleep for periods lasting from a few seconds to several minutes. In rare cases, some people may remain asleep for an hour or longer. In addition to excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS), three other major symptoms frequently characterize narcolepsy: cataplexy, or the sudden loss of voluntary muscle tone; vivid hallucinations during sleep onset or upon awakening; and brief episodes of total paralysis at the beginning or end of sleep. Narcolepsy is not definitively diagnosed in most patients until 10 to 15 years after the first symptoms appear. The cause of narcolepsy remains unknown. It is likely that narcolepsy involves multiple factors interacting to cause neurological dysfunction and sleep disturbances. "


OR

Narcolepsy
the condition afflicting one of my class mates in my writing course.



When the 'dozing off' periods are punctuated by loud snorts of snoring, the class has accompanied with loud snorts of laughter.


Yeah. Not getting anything done in that class......

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Hello Goodbye

There's a new television program here called Hello Goodbye. It's filmed at Sydney International Airport and basically films people saying hello and goodbye. Sounds kind of simple, kind of dumb really, but man, it's a tear jerker! And there aren't even particularly good stories!

I think many of you expats out there can relate. Airports are places that hold incredible amounts of emotion. I see the elation on these people's faces when they greet family and friends and I can so relate. And the tears of parting are nearly killing me!! I'm usually not that emotional when I board planes to leave home, but there was one goodbye that nearly broke my heart and as I sit here and watch the program and the people hugging and crying it so reminds me of that day and its like I 've just slipped right back into that moment and my chest starts to constrict....

I think I need to stop watching....

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

My oh my, what a wonderful day

It really was.

I received pressies, emails, phone calls and best wishes. I arrived at work to a huge slab of chocolate cake and a bar of Lindt dark chocolate and the day continued to hum along on a happy note. Even at Pilates, I was treated special (didn't have to do 100's) because it was my birthday. Very cool.

But best of all I went to dinner with someone who didn't know it was my birthday and what was meant as a fence mending meeting ended up as something a lot more and it was really a great way to end the day.

Nothing like a late night kiss and a cuddle to take the years off!!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I'm having such a good day!

See, since I normally I bitch and moan and whine away about whatever's bothering me, I thought I might bring a little balance to my blog and say something positive!

Really, I am having a good day. It's started with a huge parcel from my Mom that contained many gifts... Some of which have caused me to laugh all morning. (Note - they were not intended to, but as previously promised, I will not diss my Mom on this blog... but damn I wish I could because it's really too funny!)
Followed by a long convo with my best friend, which was also funny. (See, I could tell her the previous story.)

Off for lunch now. Lots of little yet mundane things happening today which should make for interesting story telling later....

Will keep you posted!

Today's the big day!!!

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday dear me
Happy Birthday to me



Now you know what I was talking about yesterday.....

Monday, May 08, 2006

1 day and counting

You know what I'm talking about.

I would have started the countdown sooner, but my recent incident with the lurgy kind of side tracked me.

So, the countdown has begun.

One day to go!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Certifiable

Or maybe pathetic is a better word.

Okay, pathetically certifiable.

I wish I could tell you why I'm saying that about myself, but paranoia's kicking in. ...... So maybe I should update that label to say something like pathetically certifiable paranoid. Okay, doesn't quite work, but you get the picture. I just don't want someone to stumble across this and read it. I've worked very hard at being the tough independent woman many people mistake me for - don't want to blow my cover.

Uggh. Running into someone when you're not well can seriously damage you. (Yes, I'm in melodrama mode - but I'm sick - I'm allowed.) Having them ignore you seriously destroys those pathetic romantic delusions you sold yourself of how this person can't live without you. (Yes, I'm exaggerating again for effect.)

It's amazing what scenarios a little time, distance, space, loneliness and codeine all mixed together can create in my fertile imagination.

I've said this before, but its worth repeating: I really need to get a life.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Isn't Ironic

To be dying of the flu at your desk when in the meeting room beside you desk, nurses - sponsored by your company - are giving people the flu shot for free.



Doncha think?

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Sick as a dog

It all started Sunday and each day its gotten progressively worse. I was so miserable yesterday I actually went to the doctor (would rather get my teeth pulled than go to the doctor....). The first thing he says to me? "You look like shit."

Hmm. Well, guess I didn't have to convince him I was sick.... And now, for the first time in seven years I am on antibiotics.

Still waiting for them to kick in....

I'm a horrible sick person. Especially like this: too sick to go to work, yet well enough to be bored by lying on my couch all day.

Yowsa. Will try to cheer up before blogging again.....

Monday, May 01, 2006

What's been going on

Obviously not me typing.....

So after many mouthfuls of codeine, I got myself with the program and went to the movies with my little sister on Saturday to see Eight Below. Many thanks to the heads up that perhaps not all the dogs make it - I managed to get through it without shedding a tear. (Don't mock me!! That's no small feat when it's a Disney flick!)

Good thing too, because when I asked my little is she would care if I cried, she said it was no problem, she would just pretend not to know me.

She's thirteen, can you tell??

But it was good. I managed to nearly jump out of my skin at one point - but so did she, so I didn't lose any 'cool' points.

She's lost some cool points though - because I've caught the dreaded winter lurgy. - which she had last week.... Sore throat, sore ears, self-pity... you know the program.....

Editor's note: Stolie! I forgot my Paul Walker review for you. Didn't know much about him before (sorry, I live in Australia you don't get much out here.....) but after the sauna scene you've just been knocked out of the #1 Fan spot.