Canadian Down Under

Saturday, July 19, 2008

A horoscope received a day too late!!

I would have preferred to know this before I decided tequila shots were fun and one is never enough......

You will need to take responsibility for your actions and words because there may be upsets caused either by you or someone close to you. While it may not be long-lasting, the effect may resonate for a while. Hopefully you will be able to find the right words and/or gestures to smooth over any problems or hurt feelings but don't harbour any grudges. Please remember that answers are never found in the bottom of bottles!

A really beautiful day

I've been meaning to write about my hike in the Mountains since last week, but I'm a little behind.. So bear with me, I have a few stories to tell and I just want to tell them in chronological order, even if I'm a few days late...

So last week I took the Wednesday off work. Long story short? My boss and I agreed (really, I basically informed him) that a day off would do me good (and would probably stop me from quitting...)

So although I was completely exhausted (which is why I needed the day off - I just can't cope working weekends anymore - it exhausts me...) I decided I needed to do something useful with my day. Lazing about the house would not really recharge me.. surprisingly exercise was what I was craving.

So I decided I would do something I hadn't done in ages - I'd go hiking in the Blue Mountains. I used to do it at least once a month before I hurt my back and its just one of those places that calms the soul.

Something I really needed.

So I went - and a bonus to the day was a friend took the day off as well and came with me. Which was great - because it meant I didn't have to drive and I had company. Good company in fact.

With a forecast of 6 degrees and snow - it had the potential to be too cold - but it was a beautiful day - and an easy and relaxing day starting with the 2 hour drive up. (So grateful I wasn't driving..)

A nice lunch, a long four hour hike (which was a little too much for this almost - but not quite yet completely healed - body ... the back spasms on the way back up from the valley floor I could have lived without...) yummy caramel mud cake with my tea and a nice dinner out once back in Manly.

I was tired through and through - but it felt so very good.

The best part? The tiny snowflakes that landed on us just as we were finishing our hike.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Pardon?

Apparently scads of alcohol does not improve my already sketchy hearing....

Seems person in question was calling my cat a psychopath, not me.

Ooops.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Even as a joke

being called a psychopath is not okay.

Its not funny, its just hurtful.

And that's exactly what it is - hurtful.

I'm not tough. I can't take that. Especially from him. It's bad enough he doesn't want me and I'm meant to suck it up and take it in stride - but to call me a psychopath? That's just a whole new level of mean.

Its not okay.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

It wasn't pretty....

The first teenage tantrum - and its still a week before we leave on our month long trip.

Damn.

To tell you the truth, I don't think I handled it very well - but I couldn't just leave without her speaking to me and go all week with her mad and then try to be all happy on the plane when we leave...

The tanty, the storming, the slamming of doors, the silent arms-crossed stance. the blockaded bedroom door.

All of it.

No kidding.

I succumbed and tried to open the door (she was leaning against it - and I couldn't open it...) - I gave it a push but to no avail. Then I managed to get my way in through talking - but still - I'm sure there was a better way to handle it - but hey, I'm no parent and I'm not her parent - I'm just her travel partner - but supposedly the responsible adult.

One day she'll learn that boys just aren't worth it..

Don't know when, seeing as I still haven't figured it out!

Ugh. Here's me praying we don't have another incident like that one again. I'll have to start channeling my mother if we do.

Friday, July 11, 2008

No longer a guest...

I have many things to blog about - the rat, the Blue Mountains - but inexplicably I just haven't got there yet - but I just had this thought that I have to get out now... Don't worry - I won't forget the others..

For a long time I've felt out of place - well, not quite - but as though I didn't necessarily belong in Australia and the other day I realised what it was: for ages I have felt like I was still a guest.

I felt like a visitor. On borrow. Treading gingerly around the edges, trying not to wear out my welcome. I felt this way in Australia in day to day menial activities, at work and even with the people I had met. I just never felt completely relaxed like I could be myself - completely myself; you know the whole 'let you hair down' kind of self.

But something has changed. I'm no longer a guest. I now belong.
I no longer have to worry. I no longer need to walk on egg shells.
I no longer have to worry about being kicked out.

So what happened?
I don't know and I don't really care - but I feel like my friends are real. Maybe its just enough time has passed. Not sure.
But I'm no longer a guest.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Every day. Looking forward. Every day.

It's my new philosophy.

Every time a negative thought enters my brain I repeat in my head "look forward. keep looking forward"

It's been working for the last hour or so, so I'm going to try to keep at it.

I may need to add a mantra about being likeable or something but I think I need to keep it simple....



P.S. Thanks to anonymous for your comments. They help.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Maybe its time to go

Work just isn't working
The boy didn't work

There's nothing here for me
Family is at home
I have friends at home

Maybe its time to go



Or is it just running away?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Maybe its finally time...

I just saw it on tv - John Mellencamp is coming to Sydney!!

Now, I know this is showing mmy age and all - but in high school - back when he was John Cougar - he was all that. I know the words to all his songs (okay - not hard really...) but you know it was him, the Boss and the Eagles for me in high school (its amazing how cool I was...)

Anyway - me and a John Cougar/Mellencamp concert never worked. The first time, the gang from high school got a block of tickets - we had drinks first before the concert - and seeing I was only 16 drinking with the 17 and 18 year olds - by the time I got to the concert I was so drunk I had to be taken home (my boyfriend at the time was so NOT impressed..)

The next year I got tickets again - but then the exam schedule came out and I had an exam the next day (absolutely no dice from my parents on getting a pass for that...)

And its just never worked.

I don't have anyone to go with - but I'm thinking I'm going to have to buy a couple tickets anyway. At worst I could probably con my brother into coming to Sydney...

I think its time.