Good Advice

You know, you can find mentor's in the strangest of places.....

Had lunch Friday with someone from my old office. Actually the assistant to my former Group Executive. She's a lovely lady - and a foreigner like me - although a French foreigner - but I don't hold it against her....

It was good to catch up - and she had some good news of her own: after 4 years with the company, she had decided she needed a change and would be leaving our old company. She had thought about what she wanted to do and had a definite plan. Actually it was quite inspirational to listen to her. Made me almost want to become an Executive Assistant.... okay that feeling was brief, but her sureness over what she wanted to do was something I'd been looking for for years!

But aside from that, it was good to catch up on the gossip. Who had left, who might be leaving, who had misbehaved. You know, the usual. But then conversation turned to my current job. She was curious as to how it was going. Never anything less than honest (I'll never win any political battles at work...) I told her that I was glad I had made the decision to leave my old company, but didn't think I had found the exact job for me yet.

(Just as an aside, I don't think the job for me should cause me stomach troubles when I go to meetings with seriously aggressive males on my team....)

I don't really think I belong in a corporate environment - or maybe it's just the stuffy banking/financial services environment I don't belong in. Either way, I'm far too thin skinned - which incidentally was what I was telling my friend.

But without looking for it, I ended up being given some really good advice. She told me I didn't need to be thin-skinned forever and she gave me some very tangible steps towards fixing what I see as my greatest weakness: asking for feedback. She had been part of a training session that told them they should ask themselves the following questions each and every day:

1. What did I learn today?
2. How did I stay in touch with people today?
3. What feedback did I get/give today?

The last point being the key. The key to being successful at work is how you're perceived by others. I mean, if you know you're competent but no one else perceives you that way - does it really matter what you think? She also said that getting feedback on a regular basis helps to insulate yourself from some of the harsher comments and just take the gist of the message, instead of getting offended by the delivery. She also noted that many people are extremely bad at giving feedback and can be too harsh, but that when asked for their feedback/input they tend to be a little milder. (She actually pointed out that this may be an effective strategy for dealing with the office bully - you know the one giving me stomach aches? - Haven't yet tested that theory)

So I put all this into play when I got back to the office. (I figured if I procrastinated I'd never do it..) Ended up talking to my boss later that day and setting up a system whereby I'll ask for feedback every fortnight as a way for personal development and continual improvement. He gave me some feedback (most of it good) but gave me a few tidbits that I wasn't aware of that should be easy to work on.

So I've taken the first step.... maybe one day I'll be a little less thin-skinned. Well, whatever way it turns out, I think it was good advice. Even if it doesn't bring any long term benefits, its helped me find a solution to dealing with some short term obstacles.

Free advice. Maybe sometimes you can get more than you pay for...