I should be happy
Since I'm going home - supposedly to see family and friends, but all I'm doing tonight is sitting here and trying to stop myself from crying.
How pathetic is that?
I think I may just have blown up a 20 year friendship, but I just couldn't live with myself if I sucked it up one more time without saying anything. I've shopped the situation around to impartial observers - and made a real effort to present a balanced view - and so far no one thinks I'm over reacting. And even if they did - I just can't help the way I feel.
I couldn't sleep at all last night thinking about the whole stupid situation and mostly because I don't want to face the truth. What's becoming apparent to me is that I'm doing in friendships what I often doing in relationships - close my eyes and hope if I ignore it it'll get better. And what ends up happening is instead of me facing the truth and calling it a day, I wait so long that even the guy can't handle it anymore and calls it a day himself - but not before it gets ugly.
I'm so disappointed in my friends. But to tell you the truth - I'm even more disappointed in myself.
How pathetic is that?
I think I may just have blown up a 20 year friendship, but I just couldn't live with myself if I sucked it up one more time without saying anything. I've shopped the situation around to impartial observers - and made a real effort to present a balanced view - and so far no one thinks I'm over reacting. And even if they did - I just can't help the way I feel.
I couldn't sleep at all last night thinking about the whole stupid situation and mostly because I don't want to face the truth. What's becoming apparent to me is that I'm doing in friendships what I often doing in relationships - close my eyes and hope if I ignore it it'll get better. And what ends up happening is instead of me facing the truth and calling it a day, I wait so long that even the guy can't handle it anymore and calls it a day himself - but not before it gets ugly.
I'm so disappointed in my friends. But to tell you the truth - I'm even more disappointed in myself.
posted by lala at
12:38 AM
1 Comments:
Hey. Hope you are feeling better today, but you do have to do what's right for you, not anyone else; Sadly we live in a selfish world, and sometimes, letting a friend go, though difficult, is better than letting a poor situation fester and get worse. Go to the beach - it always makes me smile.
By
Mitch, at 1:57 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home