The secret is out....

A while back I was being very secretive, but I'm going to have to come clean in order to tell you about today.

I really love having a list of things I want to do that I'm either a little afraid of trying or are too expensive to do on a whim and labelling them "Things To Do Before I Die". Why? Because with a label like that its eggs me into trying them or saving up for them. Then, I end up with a list of "Things I've Done That I Thought I'd Never Do" - a list that is a mish mash of achievements that make me quite proud of myself.

So what have I done so far? Well, I've done a triathlon (and discovered I really loved it, so incorporated as an occasional to semi-regular thing in my life), I've jumped out of a plane (never to be repeated - but I can say I've done it) and traveled many places (experiencing new cultures, seeing exciting places and meeting great people).

I try to do at least one or two new things each year - and I had two targeted for this year. Leaning to surf is going to have to take a backseat (perhaps forever depending on my bacK) but I actually managed to do the other one. A big one for me. One I've told very few people about (if anyone) because I so desperately wanted to do it and have it turn out alright, but was so afraid that it wouldn't.

So what am I going on about? Well, I've been taking singing lessons. Yup. Me. I love music , I love to sing - and if I had known at 16 what I know now, I would have seriously tried to get into the music industry. (I am a woman who cannot live without music - I love to listen, but really itch to make it) Anyway, despite how much I love it - its something I'm incredibly shy about. I won't play the piano for anyone, I didn't like to play in front of my guitar teacher and my singing teacher is astounded at how hard it's been to actually get me to sing. My reluctance to have anyone hear me is a striking contrast to my normal outgoing personality - but actually fits with the shy, perfectionist person I really am. It's such an important part of who I am, that I don't want to be bad at it - or have anyone tell me I'm crap (that's what happens when you grow up with 3 older brothers who constantly mock you for anything...you don't want to give them new material...)

But despite all that - since singing lessons was on the "before I die" list, I sucked it up and went. There have been some good days and some bad days but all in all its been quite fun. My music teacher is an eccentric but extremely lovely woman. I quite like her - and because of that, I allowed myself to pushed into performing at a recital. (I actually wasn't really given a choice). I had to provide her with a picture and blurb about myself - so this is what I gave her:

My name is Laura. I'm an Aussie with a Canadian accent. I love all types of music. I started
taking singing lessons because it was on my list of 'Things to do before I die' and fate landed me with Cathy. I'm at the recital because I've finally met someone more stubborn than me:Cathy. However, I'm standing firm on not inviting anyone to witness the event. (Cathy's insists that it's impossible I have no family and friends, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

I thought she'd edit it and yell at me later - but you know what? She printed it as is... (You'd think I'd learn....)

So I went. I sang. No one threw anything at me. I felt ill most of the day and now I have a killer of a headache from the stress of it all, but I'm glad I did it. Some people came up afterwards and said I was good - but hey - what are you going to say????

I did actually tell three people before I went (and surprisingly all wanted to come along) but they were not invited. One friend offered to sit facing the wall to ensure they wouldn't make me laugh - but that wasn't very helpful... (you know who you are!!) In fact, when it came time to actually sing, I made my teacher accompany me on the piano instead of playing the backing track so I didn't have to stand up front alone... which she did without a fuss, but it did mean I had to sing in a key that was a little too low for me. Ah well, I wasn't alone and was able to basically stand with my back to everyone (had to look over her shoulder).

So that's my secret. One more off the list. Although maybe I should add a new one: singing in a competition. (It's what my teacher is pushing me to do.) Will have to think about that one some more....

Comments welcome. No mocking allowed.