Reciprocity

A short quote to start this one:

The essentials of friendship are reciprocity and commitment between
individuals who see themselves more or less as equals.

I had something in my head but decided maybe the internet might be more eloquent. Not sure I was right but hey, it took the pressure off coming up with an opening line...


So, why am I talking about reciprocity? Well, friendship is all about give and take. Sometimes you give more, sometimes you take more, but there's a kind of equilibrium that happens in real friendships and it happens all through reciprocity.


My thinking of friendships lately hasn't been in terms of reciprocity but more in terms of deposits and withdrawals. I've been worried about being in overdraft, but I discovered last night that I hadn't looked at friendship in the right light - that it really is about reciprocity and equilibrium.


And it was my turn last night.


Its funny, I was out for dinner and listening to what was going on in my friend's world and made some observation and my friend blurted out "I knew you were the right person to talk to!"

Making my friend feel better made me feel good.

Made me realise that I'd been looking at friendship in the wrong way and worrying about being overdrawn, when really sharing the things in my life with people was more like making a deposit (if I stick to my banking analogy). Friendship is a state where there's rarely total equilibrium - it really is more like a seesaw of give and take. Reciprocity.

Even if it is like a credit line on an account - after last night it seems I've even proven to myself that I'm a good credit risk...