How do you know?

How do you know when somebody means what they say?

How do you know when its okay to trust someone?

I mean - how do you know?

I never get it right. Initially I don't really believe anyone. I mean, I want to, but I just can't seem to make it happen. I usually get a first vibe - and if it's a bad one they never get a shot - but if things seem okay on the surface, I'll hang in there and see how it goes.

See, for me it's all about action. It's so easy to say the right thing, but it's seems so hard for people to do the right thing. So those fast talkers? They're hard to believe. They've spent so much of their energy appearing to be a good thing, they've forgotten how to be a good thing. (Yes, I'm channeling an ex-boyfriend with that comment...)

So I can rule out one group: the fast talking, way too smooth type. But what of others? How do you know? How long does it take to prove yourself trustworthy? And is there room for error? Can someone promise something and not follow through yet still be trustworthy? Do they stay trustworthy or do they return to the 'unproven' category? And how long til they can move to trustworthy again? Do they have to follow through on a number of items? or just one?

It's all very confusing. I'm trying not to be too tough on some people (as my friend's have been suggesting) but it goes against the grain. Does that mean I'm just chicken? or just wise?

Man, the thoughts that go through my head somedays....