Canadian Down Under

Monday, July 02, 2007

On a slightly more serious note....

Something's been going on recently that has made me a little (okay, a lot) sad. I haven't blogged about it because its something I don't want everyone to know - but that's not what I want to blog about. What I want to blog about is how today's society treats people who are sad.

First? They accuse you of being depressed (I'm not - I've checked because I didn't want to be in denial and I believe I have had family members suffer from undiagnosed depression - so have been very careful..)I'm not particularly fond of being judged - nor is it helpful that its the first thing people say.

Next - and this is a kicker - they tell you need to talk to someone.. But what do they really mean by that? They mean: find someone to talk to, pay some one, anyone - just don't talk to me.

You think I'm kidding?

Then they usually follow up with comments like "I hate to see you sad." or "You can talk to me anytime" and "I'll call you tomorrow"

Sounds lovely doesn't it?

But the thing is - I was trying to talk to them. But people don't want to listen. They can't bear to see people sad - which I understand to a degree - but it happens. Just like happiness happens. And sometimes the best way to be a good friend is just to be there.

So they tell you these nice (brush-off) thinks and then they don't call - not just the next day - they don't call for days (actually not sure how long this lasts...I'm still at the no call stage) So it kind of makes all their 'I care', 'talk to me' lines sound pretty insincere.

There are exceptions though. My friend in Vancouver has been outstanding.

Thank God for exceptions...

5 Comments:

  • XOXO

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:26 PM  

  • Hugs from TO. Ya, sadness is a buzzkill for most people. I am often sad because of depression and then I'm sort of brushed off with a bright "hey you'll just get more meds, right?". I think that sadness makdes people uncomfortable because it makes them confront their own demons. That's why they prefer the company of people who act like they've just won a car on the Price is Right. It helps with the whole denial thing...

    By Blogger Gwyn, at 3:14 AM  

  • One of the perils of being a nomad in a strange country is that it is easy to lack that support network, but on the whole sadly I agree, people really do not want to hear about your problems and on the whole are oftern really awfully bad at listening to others but expect one to listen to them!

    I lived in Australia for a while, am maried to an antipodean and one of the things I found oddest there was people appear to really appear to want genuinly to listen to how you feel, then you find out actually they want to tell you how they think you feel, which is not quite the same thing is it!!

    Hope you feel less sad soon, everyone has the right to be sad if they want to.

    By Blogger Un Peu Loufoque, at 9:23 PM  

  • Thanks. I appreciate the comments. It's nice to know I'm not alone - not only physically, but also in how I feel.

    Thanks again. As an update? I am starting to feel better. Not 100% there yet, but I'm getting there..

    By Blogger lala, at 8:58 PM  

  • To me the worst thing is when you say you are a little sad and people start to list the reasons why you CAN'T be sad: "But you have a job, a nice family, a loving boyfriend, you're healthy... See, a friend of a friend of mine has just lost her husband in a terrible accident, and in his funeral she discovered he had another woman and 6 kids... So you really shouldn't be complaining, things can always get worse!".
    Do they really think that telling us about other people's tragedies cheers us up?!
    Get better soon!

    By Blogger .: Ana :., at 12:22 PM  

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