Somedays....
Somedays all I can remember is the mean.
Now I know this isn't the best day for this kind of post - but following the crowd is not my strong suit and bucking the trend kind of appeals to me today.
So where was I going with this? Well, occasionally it seems that I can be travelling along and all is fine - but then I'm struck by a comment someone's made to me. A mean comment. What surprises me about this, is that usually its something I think I've gotten over long, long ago.
For example? What I seem to be hearing over and over again today is "It was a mistake to kiss you." (Question is - what came first the comment or the lovely migraine I've had this afternoon or did the migraine start this inane argument in my head? Kind of a chicken and egg type question isn't it?)
Who says that? Why would someone say that? Even if it were true (and you'd have to be someone so horrible - like gnaw your arm off in the morning horrible - for kissing to have been a mistake) why would you say that to someone?
So - let's suppose I kissed some guy and then thought afterwards that maybe it wasn't the best decision I'd ever made (not that I've ever done that or anything) - but I certainly wouldn't be saying to the guy that kissing him was a mistake - unless of course he was the worst kisser on the face of the earth. (and even then I wouldn't say that - I'd just leave the pub while he was in the washroom (circa 2001 Airlie Beach)...)
Besides, the one thing I have been told by said guy who said kissing me was a mistake is that I'm a great kisser - so where's the mistake? The mistake is that he used words. The mistake was that he couldn't keep his hormones in line. The mistake was that he couldn't be honest with himself that if you're attracted to someone and enjoy their company and think they're a great kisser - then kissing is not a mistake - opening your mouth afterwards and saying it was a mistake is actually the mistake. (you still with me on this one because I'm on a bit of a roll..)Being too dim to take a risk and enjoy someone else's company because you're a chicken ass and then saying kissing is a mistake is just stupid.
It wasn't that it was a mistake - it was that this guy was just incapable of taking a risk, too afraid really - and instead of just fessing up to that, he had to put me down by calling me a mistake.
Well fuck you. For the record? The kiss wasn't the mistake. The mistake was that I didn't give the guy a black eye after he called me a mistake.
Wait... that's a little extreme... and truly, I'm not really as violent as I like to pretend sometimes.
I believe really good kisses are slightly magical and the mistake that I made was letting someone share a little of the magic who didn't or couldn't appreciate that specialness. The mistake is that I shared it with someone who couldn't or wouldn't be open to the wonder and possibilities that a magical kiss can lead to - who perhaps didn't have the courage to just roll the dice and give it a go.
One last comment for the record? When you're disappointed with yourself - don't take it out on me. Truth is - I can't take it.
And on that note - Merry Christmas.
Now I know this isn't the best day for this kind of post - but following the crowd is not my strong suit and bucking the trend kind of appeals to me today.
So where was I going with this? Well, occasionally it seems that I can be travelling along and all is fine - but then I'm struck by a comment someone's made to me. A mean comment. What surprises me about this, is that usually its something I think I've gotten over long, long ago.
For example? What I seem to be hearing over and over again today is "It was a mistake to kiss you." (Question is - what came first the comment or the lovely migraine I've had this afternoon or did the migraine start this inane argument in my head? Kind of a chicken and egg type question isn't it?)
Who says that? Why would someone say that? Even if it were true (and you'd have to be someone so horrible - like gnaw your arm off in the morning horrible - for kissing to have been a mistake) why would you say that to someone?
So - let's suppose I kissed some guy and then thought afterwards that maybe it wasn't the best decision I'd ever made (not that I've ever done that or anything) - but I certainly wouldn't be saying to the guy that kissing him was a mistake - unless of course he was the worst kisser on the face of the earth. (and even then I wouldn't say that - I'd just leave the pub while he was in the washroom (circa 2001 Airlie Beach)...)
Besides, the one thing I have been told by said guy who said kissing me was a mistake is that I'm a great kisser - so where's the mistake? The mistake is that he used words. The mistake was that he couldn't keep his hormones in line. The mistake was that he couldn't be honest with himself that if you're attracted to someone and enjoy their company and think they're a great kisser - then kissing is not a mistake - opening your mouth afterwards and saying it was a mistake is actually the mistake. (you still with me on this one because I'm on a bit of a roll..)Being too dim to take a risk and enjoy someone else's company because you're a chicken ass and then saying kissing is a mistake is just stupid.
It wasn't that it was a mistake - it was that this guy was just incapable of taking a risk, too afraid really - and instead of just fessing up to that, he had to put me down by calling me a mistake.
Well fuck you. For the record? The kiss wasn't the mistake. The mistake was that I didn't give the guy a black eye after he called me a mistake.
Wait... that's a little extreme... and truly, I'm not really as violent as I like to pretend sometimes.
I believe really good kisses are slightly magical and the mistake that I made was letting someone share a little of the magic who didn't or couldn't appreciate that specialness. The mistake is that I shared it with someone who couldn't or wouldn't be open to the wonder and possibilities that a magical kiss can lead to - who perhaps didn't have the courage to just roll the dice and give it a go.
One last comment for the record? When you're disappointed with yourself - don't take it out on me. Truth is - I can't take it.
And on that note - Merry Christmas.
posted by lala at
7:03 PM
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