What - WHAT - made me say yes?????

I am now at home in my comfy pajamas, watching the Four Tops on David Letterman (thank God for technology (or tv in this case) that crosses borders... I really needed a dose of home..and humour - David Letterman fits both criteria) drinking a mug of hot cocoa (made from scratch). I know I"m supposed to be off chocolate, but after tonight, I SOOO deserve a warm mug of comfort.

I truly can't believe I said yes. I knew, I KNEW in my gut it was a mistake, but no. I convinced myself to go anyway. What am I talking about? A singles harbour cruise. ( I saw that cringe! but it's not as bad as the cringing I was doing ON the cruise).

New to Sydney, I went on a harbour cruise run by firemen over a year ago. Again that time I knew I shouldn't but was cajoled into it. After which I PROMISED myself I wouldn't never do something like that again. Why didn't I keep my promise. Why?

You know I'm a fairly social person, generally can feel comfortable in a situation where I know no one - or close to no one, but not tonight. I don't know what it is, but I find it difficult to talk to anyone (probably because I'm not interested in talking to any of the drunk louts in the place, now that I think about it....) and I become very shy and introverted. Totally not the kind of thing you should do at a singles event. I isolate myself by my unsocial behaviour that then makes me feel like a loser. But the thing is, I don't really WANT to talk to any of them.

I got talked into going by a friend of a friend. As you know if you've been reading this blog, I've been trying to rebuild a life here over the last couple months, so I've really been making an effort to get out and do things I like and go out when invited and get to know more people, blah, blah, blah. So when I was asked to go, I thought to myself Why not? What have I got to lose? At the very least maybe I meet some new friends (the person who asked me to go was going with a group of friends).

Wrong. So very wrong.

The men were like a pack of animals. Pack animals on the hunt. Badly behaved, disrespectful - and that's when they were sober. They just got worse as the evening (and the drinks) continued. And being on a boat - I couldn't just leave - which somehow makes it seem so much worse, bordering on intolerable. I think most of the guys on the boat were spoiled rich boys. They seemed to have that private school, clique, posse mentality. Snobs basically. Totally NOT my type of guys.

After the boat docked, there was some after party, but the girl I went with didn't seem to mind that I wanted to go home instead - she was happy to go on, on her own. Thankfully, one of the guys she was with made mention of just packing it in, so I was able to share a cab home. The nicest guy of the bunch, I may add - cause he actually had some manners (when walking across the street, I was a little slower than the group - mostly because they were all 6'4", but also because I had heels on - and he slowed down so I wasn't walking by myself). And no, he wasn't hitting on me.

I don't know what made me do it, but I truly need to stop saying yes.