Why do I live here?

I get asked that question quite a lot - and its never easy to answer. You know, before I even got here, a lot of people asked me why I was leaving. There was no one specific answer, but a bunch of reasons that combined seemed to make sense.

I had always loved Australia. Not a good enough reason by itself, but at the time I decided to go, I had decided it was time to move away from my much loved home in TO anyway. I'd been there all my life and truthfully, I was a little bored. All my friends had gotten married and most had kids and although I didn't want to leave my friends, our lives had become so different that we didn't really spend much time together anymore - through circumstance rather than design.... but all the same, the reality was I was having to build a new life without them as a central part of it.

So on my own, bored and starting fresh - I thought - why not start fresh somewhere else?

Once again, I'm not doing a very good job of explaining why I moved here - and when asked by a cousin of mine why I was going (I mean most people move for career or their significant others - and since I had no significant other and could give a shit about my career, my answers never really seemed to satisfy anyone...) - I fumbled through an explanation to which she then asked "You feel like you belong there don't you?"

And that really was it. I'm more comfortable in my own skin here. I'm not sure why and it's not always that way, but the most part its true. I think I'm meant to be here.

So why am I writing this? Well, every once in a while I ask myself why I'm living here and sometimes I find my answers not very compelling or convincing - then I think of that conversation with my cousin. It reminds me of the feeling I had when applying for residency, when packing up and even when flying over: my gut was telling me I was doing the right thing. Probably not a good enough reason for some, but it's the thing that keeps me believing I should stay. I believe in myself - or more succintly, I believe in my gut.

There's a reasons I came and although times sometimes get tough - like I miss my friends, I miss my family, and I surprisingly miss snow - I know there's a reason I'm here and I'm not leaving until I figure it out. Once I figure it out, then I'll know if I'm staying for good....