Je suis un chef extraordinaire

Now I've talked about my stupendous cooking skills before in Fine Dining , but I have reached whole new depths with my experience in the kitchen last night...

I went to go visit a friend in Newcastle this weekend and arrived just in time for dinner preparation. Great time to arrive really because its a great way to catch up - hanging out in the kitchen, sipping some wine and talking while the food's cooking.

Now most of my friends know that I'm crap in the kitchen - so although I always offer to help - generally they decline. Makes us all happy. I can offer assistance and pretend to want to help and I don't seem like a complete lazy slob, yet I end up just hanging out sipping wine and conversing, and my friends don't have to worry about inedible food or accidents in the kitchen and they're kept company while cooking. Last night that didn't happen - I forgot this friend didn't know what a disaster I am in the kitchen...

So I offered to help - and damn if she didn't take me up on it. And although she gave me a rather minor task (opening a can of kidney beans) disaster struck. How is it that a can with a pull tab can be so dangerous? Who knew that a can lid could be so sharp? Who knew that a slashed hand could hurt that much? Or bleed that much?

Not to worry though - no stitches. Just some compression, bandages and tape. Didn't even completely get me out of kitchen duty either (health care professionals are not put off by a little blood in their food apparently...) still had to rinse the rice, but I somehow managed that without further injury.

I don't think cooking classes are anywhere in my immediate future....