Sometimes I just like to pretend
I would never actually do anything.
I confess, I'm a hot head. It's just me. There's nothing I can do to change it, but to a certain degree I can control it. I no longer break things when I'm angry (as a kid I once broke a phone - and oh, I also broke the fridge - in a fit of anger. That's what happens when you're the youngest sister of three older, larger brothers. You can't break them, but sometimes you need to break something...) And I do a pretty good job of limiting my swear words - or at least stop them being directed at other human beings.
That being said, I can't actually stop the actual anger and temper tantrum feelings. Someone once said to me that when I'm angry, I don't just feel the emotion, I am the emotion
No kidding.
So what can I do? The emotion needs to go somewhere. I certainly can't keep all that inside! Well, what happens is I tend to imagine situations in which I can even the score, and then verbalise said scenarios. For example, the fuckwit who just wants to be friends. He's part of a group of ex-colleagues who are in the midst of planning a dinner together. Now, I'm hoping it all doesn't pan out (i.e. he chickens out of going if he hears I'm going, but seeing as he's demonstrated he has the brain capacity of a gnat, there's a chance he might actually show) and I imagine not speaking to him if he speaks to me (which will make it obvious that something is wrong) and simply pretend he does not exist. A couple girlfriends and I were laughing about how I could spill a drink on his lap and apologise with a saccharine tone and then ask 'can we still be friends?' And it kind of went from there.
I have to say it was very funny.
I've told a few friends and also explained how angry I've been this last week. And you know - sometimes I over-exaggerate a tad (its the story teller in me....) and I was surprised to find out some of my friends actually think I would follow through on my anger and actually do something crazy.
Can I just state for the record I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING. I WILL NOT ACT ON MY ANGER. Listen, I was brought up different than that. Besides, I'm too scared of my mother and my dead father to do anything that might bring the wrath of either one of them - or, heaven forbid - both of them down on me....
It's just sometimes, it's fun to pretend that I could misbehave that badly.
Try it. You might like it.
I confess, I'm a hot head. It's just me. There's nothing I can do to change it, but to a certain degree I can control it. I no longer break things when I'm angry (as a kid I once broke a phone - and oh, I also broke the fridge - in a fit of anger. That's what happens when you're the youngest sister of three older, larger brothers. You can't break them, but sometimes you need to break something...) And I do a pretty good job of limiting my swear words - or at least stop them being directed at other human beings.
That being said, I can't actually stop the actual anger and temper tantrum feelings. Someone once said to me that when I'm angry, I don't just feel the emotion, I am the emotion
No kidding.
So what can I do? The emotion needs to go somewhere. I certainly can't keep all that inside! Well, what happens is I tend to imagine situations in which I can even the score, and then verbalise said scenarios. For example, the fuckwit who just wants to be friends. He's part of a group of ex-colleagues who are in the midst of planning a dinner together. Now, I'm hoping it all doesn't pan out (i.e. he chickens out of going if he hears I'm going, but seeing as he's demonstrated he has the brain capacity of a gnat, there's a chance he might actually show) and I imagine not speaking to him if he speaks to me (which will make it obvious that something is wrong) and simply pretend he does not exist. A couple girlfriends and I were laughing about how I could spill a drink on his lap and apologise with a saccharine tone and then ask 'can we still be friends?' And it kind of went from there.
I have to say it was very funny.
I've told a few friends and also explained how angry I've been this last week. And you know - sometimes I over-exaggerate a tad (its the story teller in me....) and I was surprised to find out some of my friends actually think I would follow through on my anger and actually do something crazy.
Can I just state for the record I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING. I WILL NOT ACT ON MY ANGER. Listen, I was brought up different than that. Besides, I'm too scared of my mother and my dead father to do anything that might bring the wrath of either one of them - or, heaven forbid - both of them down on me....
It's just sometimes, it's fun to pretend that I could misbehave that badly.
Try it. You might like it.
posted by lala at
9:12 PM
1 Comments:
Nicole - I know I emailed you back directly, but couldn't leave the comment unanswered on my blog...
Thanks for the words of concern, but I must admit I tend to exaggerate sometimes to make the story better. (In story telling it's been pointed out that I extend time lines, distances, weights, etc - so I'm guessing anger measurement is no different...)
I'm just going to chalk it up to the Irish in me. And that unlike most people I know - I have no interest in pretending I'm not angry and giving myself an ulcer.
But to date - I've only broken inanimate objects (and only as a child) and never hit anyone or anything. I really am a softie at heart...
Thanks for your concern. It is appreciated.
By
lala, at 11:29 PM
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