This is likely to be far too long for a comment box....
...and although being written mainly in response to Melodie's comment yesterday - its probably something I should have said a long time ago.
So to recap for everyone - the following is a direct copy of Melodie's comment (sorry Melodie - it'll all make sense in the end..):
First off - I gotta say - reading the entire blog? That's impressive! I'm pretty sure its not something I have done - nor really have any desire to attempt to do (thank goodness for search functions on blogger....) Not only is it impressive - its also flattering - so thank you for being interested enough.
Reading your comment I really got the feeling I may have been mis-representing myself in my writing -so I think I need to explain what this blog was meant to be and what its really become.
The blog itself was the brainchild of a friend of mine who thinks I can write and thinks I needed a plan to do so - hence blogging. I'd been writing journals while travelling and stories out of events that had happened and so when I finally settled down, a blog about living abroad seemed the next natural step.
A great idea - however it does unfortunately reveal more about me than I would have originally thought. See - if you were to meet me in person (extracting the last two years from this proposal) - most would think I was a pretty happy person with an abundance of confidence, upbeat attitude and lots of energy. I think that perhaps I show another side when I write - a slightly skewed side. While I wouldn't disagree that perhaps I tend toward being the 'glass half-empty' type of person in my head (and therefore in my writing) I think I also used this blog to vent out anything and everything that was bothering me.
Perhaps that is a function of moving overseas on your own - without those old friends to vent to - you need to find another outlet. And yes, I need an outlet - as Meyer Briggs tests have shown - I am an extreme extrovert - almost nothing stays in (and that will be a surprise to no one....)
So why the long explanation? Well the truth is I have enjoyed Australia. Its been frustrating at times and a lot of other not so nice things - but it has also been wonderful. My time here has meant that I have met many wonderful people (and yes, I know I used the word 'wonderful' twice - but its the right word) - and I have made some friends that I think will last a lifetime - no matter where I live.
As well? This country is beautiful. And it requires time - not only to see it all - but to truly appreciate the many differences that make Australia Australia.
My time here has only made me better. Does that make sense? I wouldn't give up the last seven years to live another way as I would have missed out on so much. Leaving is giving it all up - which is not easy to do - which is why I haven't decided with any finality.
As the time I have left here slowly diminishes - there is excitement about what I'm going to do - but with it comes a sadness for I will really miss it here.
The truth is the last two years have been exceptionally hard for me. I had a job that was tough which I initially quite liked, but soon the politics were beyond what I had any appetite for. In tandem, I hurt myself with a broken arm and bad back which has plagued me and on top of that I ended up with - although easily fixed - a fairly overwhelming thyroid issue which clouded and fogged up everything. But the real thing that has been the problem over the last few years is that I was heart broken. Sounds corny, I know - but it did really colour everything and with all those things: work, health and love not working - I just needed a break.
This year off is meant to be my break and its the time to do the things I really love (I wasn't talking about guys - but hey, I probably wouldn't be saying no....). So I'm getting better at guitar (not good yet, but better), I'm still singing and I'm loving my writing course and for once feel truly capable of doing something with that. And to top it off - I'm slowly getting back into shape. I'm no great athlete but nothing really beats feeling physically fit. Its not just good for the body, its good for the soul.
So I realise this is quite long - but I felt that your comments hit home in a way that I felt I needed to provide some context .
Living abroad is an experience - whether you love it or hate it - it is definitely something you won't forget. But it truly is what you make of it.
For Melodie specifically - please don't let what I've been writing influence you into staying put. I probably show the harder side rather than all the good things that have happened (and I'm not so good at writing while inebriated or hungover - so there are many fun things not recorded...) You wanted to know what originally attracted me to Oz? All of it - the beauty, the climate, the people, the distance, the thrill of something new. Really - Australia has all of that and more.
So will I be blogging back home? Most likely - but unlikely under this blog. A friend and I have been joking about potential names and so far "The Prodigal Canadian" is winning - but we'll see...
Thanks again for reading through. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope it doesn't keep you from coming yourself - the Australian in me would feel truly mortified if that were to happen!
Oh and yes
GO CANADA GO!!!!!
So to recap for everyone - the following is a direct copy of Melodie's comment (sorry Melodie - it'll all make sense in the end..):
Hi, I just came across your blog a few days ago and read the entire thing except for May and June of 2004, lol. (Not sure why, lol).
Anyways, sounds like you've had a rough time in Australia, sorry to hear. Kind of makes me think twice, since I've been considering going there myself...lol. (I'm Canadian and from the same neck of the woods as you, lol.)
Well, I'm just curious if you'll still be blogging once you come back to Canada?
Also, I'm just curious to know what your original allure was to Australia. Was it the beauty, the climate, the ???
Well good luck on your course, and good luck on your way back to Canada!
p.s. GO CANADA GO!
First off - I gotta say - reading the entire blog? That's impressive! I'm pretty sure its not something I have done - nor really have any desire to attempt to do (thank goodness for search functions on blogger....) Not only is it impressive - its also flattering - so thank you for being interested enough.
Reading your comment I really got the feeling I may have been mis-representing myself in my writing -so I think I need to explain what this blog was meant to be and what its really become.
The blog itself was the brainchild of a friend of mine who thinks I can write and thinks I needed a plan to do so - hence blogging. I'd been writing journals while travelling and stories out of events that had happened and so when I finally settled down, a blog about living abroad seemed the next natural step.
A great idea - however it does unfortunately reveal more about me than I would have originally thought. See - if you were to meet me in person (extracting the last two years from this proposal) - most would think I was a pretty happy person with an abundance of confidence, upbeat attitude and lots of energy. I think that perhaps I show another side when I write - a slightly skewed side. While I wouldn't disagree that perhaps I tend toward being the 'glass half-empty' type of person in my head (and therefore in my writing) I think I also used this blog to vent out anything and everything that was bothering me.
Perhaps that is a function of moving overseas on your own - without those old friends to vent to - you need to find another outlet. And yes, I need an outlet - as Meyer Briggs tests have shown - I am an extreme extrovert - almost nothing stays in (and that will be a surprise to no one....)
So why the long explanation? Well the truth is I have enjoyed Australia. Its been frustrating at times and a lot of other not so nice things - but it has also been wonderful. My time here has meant that I have met many wonderful people (and yes, I know I used the word 'wonderful' twice - but its the right word) - and I have made some friends that I think will last a lifetime - no matter where I live.
As well? This country is beautiful. And it requires time - not only to see it all - but to truly appreciate the many differences that make Australia Australia.
My time here has only made me better. Does that make sense? I wouldn't give up the last seven years to live another way as I would have missed out on so much. Leaving is giving it all up - which is not easy to do - which is why I haven't decided with any finality.
As the time I have left here slowly diminishes - there is excitement about what I'm going to do - but with it comes a sadness for I will really miss it here.
The truth is the last two years have been exceptionally hard for me. I had a job that was tough which I initially quite liked, but soon the politics were beyond what I had any appetite for. In tandem, I hurt myself with a broken arm and bad back which has plagued me and on top of that I ended up with - although easily fixed - a fairly overwhelming thyroid issue which clouded and fogged up everything. But the real thing that has been the problem over the last few years is that I was heart broken. Sounds corny, I know - but it did really colour everything and with all those things: work, health and love not working - I just needed a break.
This year off is meant to be my break and its the time to do the things I really love (I wasn't talking about guys - but hey, I probably wouldn't be saying no....). So I'm getting better at guitar (not good yet, but better), I'm still singing and I'm loving my writing course and for once feel truly capable of doing something with that. And to top it off - I'm slowly getting back into shape. I'm no great athlete but nothing really beats feeling physically fit. Its not just good for the body, its good for the soul.
So I realise this is quite long - but I felt that your comments hit home in a way that I felt I needed to provide some context .
Living abroad is an experience - whether you love it or hate it - it is definitely something you won't forget. But it truly is what you make of it.
For Melodie specifically - please don't let what I've been writing influence you into staying put. I probably show the harder side rather than all the good things that have happened (and I'm not so good at writing while inebriated or hungover - so there are many fun things not recorded...) You wanted to know what originally attracted me to Oz? All of it - the beauty, the climate, the people, the distance, the thrill of something new. Really - Australia has all of that and more.
So will I be blogging back home? Most likely - but unlikely under this blog. A friend and I have been joking about potential names and so far "The Prodigal Canadian" is winning - but we'll see...
Thanks again for reading through. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope it doesn't keep you from coming yourself - the Australian in me would feel truly mortified if that were to happen!
Oh and yes
GO CANADA GO!!!!!
posted by lala at
5:22 PM
4 Comments:
*blush*
It's 2:34am here, and so I will think of a coherent response to your post tomorrow. :-)
By
Melodie, at 6:36 PM
I can't remember if I've ever commented on your blog, but I do read. :) Your writing personality reminds me of me and I think that's what drew me to you. I just had to comment that, maybe because I'm an expat as well, I've never thought it seemed like you didn't like your experience here. I think that maybe, for someone who hasn't been through it yet, the idea of moving to Australia can seem very romantic and all sunshine and rainbows and it IS...sometimes. But just as often it's hard and painful and confusing and all these things we never dreamed it would be when we thought of coming here....and that's okay too. I'm a glass-half-full kind of girl too, but moving countries is hard and I think my blog can often reflect my pains and struggles more than the wins and excitement of the experiences as well....if nothing else you've helped me be more aware of how I might be coloring my life here so for that I give you my thanks. :)
By
emseedubya, at 7:09 PM
Thanks for the personal response to my comment, I was actually quite shocked. With things being on internet, I always kind of expect some non-descript reply, but you went all out. :)
I won't give up my dream of traveling abroad. Actually I do like to see more than just the 'sunshine and roses' perspective. It forces me to be a bit more realistic in such major decisions as uprooting myself. I do have a friend who is moving to NZ next year, and another friend who has family in Brisbane, so I'm trying to convince her to go (or come with me) --(Sorry, I'm interested in Brisbane and know you live in Sydney...but it's still Australia)-- So we'll see how things work out.
I think that yes, maybe your trials were not necessarily with Australia per se. You had a difficult job (I hope you can find a different career path that you're happier with...I get frightened at the thought of finance myself, lol). And although I've never had my heart-broken, I do know what it's like to be 'lonely' when it comes to 'guys'. So I hope that with your time off and even coming back home, you can find peace...and who knows, maybe you'll miss Australia too much, lol.
Sorry for the long comment, but again, thank you for your quite personal response to my simple comment.
By
Melodie, at 10:38 AM
Emseedubya- you're welcome - but after reading your comment, I think I owe you the thanks.
Melodie-it is unusual for me to comment back (although I do read all comments) but you made a good point - and at the same time struck a nerve - which meant I really did need to answer. Not to sound too Aussie or anything - but "it's all good - no worries mate".
By
lala, at 12:25 AM
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