How bored can you get?

Apparently pretty bored if i've discovered how to blog by phone.
now if i wasn't so bored i'd actually have something to say.
Right now you're all just my guinea pigs!

Who's really in charge...

Well, you've heard stories of Monster before, so we know its not me.... but there's now a third female in the house: my mother.

I warned her. Actually I warned them both. I warned my mother that Monster is poorly behaved and sometimes bites (totally my fault - I get that - however, I also get that I'm not in charge) And I warned Monster that my mother was no pushover and would teach her some manners quite quickly.

I was right on both counts.

Monster has learnt something I have known all along: my mother reigns supreme... and it took less than an hour with one small conversation. No raised voices and no raised hands.

Almost witchlike really....

The mother of all visits...

...starts tomorrow!

What do you do with someone who is almost 80 who wants to do things 20 year olds do - because she wants to be 'cool'.

Note - I can no longer do what 20 year olds do....

It's alright though - I've got the schedule all worked out - except for the weekend we're in Melbourne - my brother has to take some responsibility. Besides, Julie the cruise director (me) will need some time off!! I'm tired just thinking about it.

Personally, I think the Explosive Afro Brasilian dance class is going to be hilarious...

Terrifying!

Music is the thing that I love most in this world - but it is the thing that absolutely terrifies me as well.

Well, performing is what terrifies me.

So today's music lesson was quite terrifying.... My music teacher taped our lesson. And then she made me listen to parts of it.

You know what that's like? Its like listening to your speaking voice for the first time. It so doesn't sound like what you hear yourself in your head when you sing.

Does that make sense??

Well, it was good and bad - I'll start with the bad:

• it was terrifying
• my nervousness shows when I sing
• it actually cracks when I go high

The good?

• when I stop worrying and forget to be nervous - I actually have a nice voice.
• sometimes I even enjoyed listening instead of cringing in horror...

Surprising. Terrifying but surprising. Made me somewhat believe that perhaps I could sing - which is what my music teacher has been telling me for a while. But it also showed where I need to do some work: I need to not be nervous and I need to believe in myself.

No small order for me! (That could pretty much be said in many areas of my life...)

But the best news of all? I survived.

Yeah me!

Things that make you go 'hmmm'

I've had such a full day, that even though its Friday night at the end of my first week of unemployment, I decided that staying in and watching tv was my best option for the evening. (My new exercise program is completely wearing me out....I'm such a whinger....)

Anyway - been watching tv movies. Ever seen 'Failure to Launch"? It's one of those really bad movies that you can't make yourself not watch. Well, at least not if you're me... But there were some things that kind of make me go 'wtf'???

• Sarah Jessica Parker - do people really think she's this alluring, beautiful, sexy woman that could snare any guy? Really?? I mean she might be interesting and attractive on some level - but femme fatale? Doesn't really ring true...
• Terry Bradshaw walking around naked - is that necessary? is that supposed to be a selling feature? comedy? Nah - that belongs on the list of things that are just not right
• Terry Bradshaw equal billing to Kathy Bates? Nothing more need be said..

Just some of the things that make you go 'hmmmm'....

I thought I was crazy....

..but apparently I'm not. It is possible to hurt the bottom of your feet.

Seriously - my feet hurt when I get up. By hurt I mean, I have trouble walking on them without excruciating pain. Its at its worst in the early morning (no rushing to the bathroom - its an old age hobble....) but it tends to ease as the day goes on.

But I managed to make it oh so worse this week.

See - my plan for my unemployment is to do the things I really love that I never had time for while I was working. So one piece of that plan is to get exercising. I even wrote out a schedule - and it generally involves exercising twice a day. So not long and arduous exercise at first... need to get back into the grove without hurting myself... however, it appears that even that little bit is causing a bit of a problem.

Now my feet have been hurting for a couple of months - but this week they've wratcheted up a notch (I'm pretty sure I spelt that wrong, however, I don't seem to care enough to fix it....). Seems that a long walk in bad shoes could be the cause of what I have now. Basically I've torn the fascia muscle that attaches my achilles to the bottom of my foot.

Not understand?

Neither do I really. Can't fathom how I could do this one - but it means I need to be off my feet - and no more thongs or bare feet!!

Fuck. I'm finally unemployed and can go barefoot and then I'm told I can't!!!!!

grumble, grumble, grumble.

Oh well - off to my first ice foot bath.

It will be fun to track how many different and weird injuries I can come up with over the next few months as I try to get back into shape....

Day 1 - A very good day

Who knew I'd enjoy unemployment so much? Okay, well I did - considering I enjoyed it so much when I left Canada. It was only absolute poverty and near starvation (yes, I love of touch of the drama...) that actually made me get a job...

So today involved a sleep in (til 9 - its amazing how as you get older, 'sleeping in' gets earlier and earlier...), some brunch, a lounging read, a swim, my lesson, more lounging, yummy barbeque, my exercise class and now some late night tv.....

I'm looking forward to tomorrow...

Sunday Night Anxiety

Apparently they've done studies that show that there really is a phenomenon that on Sunday nights - before the start of the work week - many people suffer from stress/anxiety relating to work.

Now I've never thought that I was one of those people - well, except for that one job when I was about 22, I remember Sunday nights were awful - but that probably wasn't specific to the job - just more of a result of becoming a full-time worker and understanding that for the rest of my life, the majority of Sunday nights would be the 'night before work'.

I think I've gone on a little tangent... but really, even thought I haven't loved my job in the last two years (which I've tried not to comment on here...) I never really felt bad on Sunday nights.

Or so I thought.

But maybe I wasn't so right - because now that I don't have to go to work tomorrow (I did mention that I quit right??) I find myself keying up a little and I actually have to say to myself - "remember, no work tomorrow - you don't have to go back" .

That little comment (sometimes even said aloud) stops the anxiety cold. Anxiety I had become completely immune to!

So - tomorrow is the first day of my official unemployment. I think it may take a little while for the reality of that to actually sink in, but I'm going to try to enjoy as best I can...

Many plans over the coming months - which hopefully will result in much more writing yet again. See - no more job means more room for the good stuff like music and writing. But more importantly it means an end to the bad stuff - the negativity that slowly eats away at your soul.

The next few months are all about rejuvenation. I'm looking forward to it - excited even: a return to who and what I really am.