Canadian Down Under

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Your worst nightmare

A female colleague and I had a meeting with a couple of guys from the IT department.

Now, I say IT department, you think geek, right? Well, if that's what you're thinking, you'd be so wrong!! One of the guys was totally yummy - so yummy that my colleague and I were silently competing over who could say the most interesting thing, who could be the most charming, who could be the most witty - all in all, who could be the most attractive to him.

After the meeting I'm sitting at my desk and my colleague calls and asks if I got her email. I didn't, so we had a chat instead, mostly talking about how yummy the guy was - which in essence is what her email said. After a few minutes, she asked me to check my email again, but it still hadn't arrived. She hadn't kept a copy of her sent mail, so we figured it probably just never got sent.

I didn't think anymore about it and was heading from work to the ferry when my mobile rang. It was my colleague, she was laughing, but mortified. Apparently the email did get sent - just not to me. It seems her subconscious went into overdrive, so instead of writing an email about him and sending it to me, she wrote an email about him and sent it - yup, you guessed it - to HIM!!

Well at least she has a sense of humour about it....

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I was happily living in delusional land...until today

Today I went to the doctor.

The fact that I actually went to a doctor didn't bring me out of delusional land. Nope.

The fact that my doctor is worried about me becoming addicted to codeine didn't bring me out of delusional land either.

Nor did the prescription of a preventative medication (in case I've never mentioned it, despite my apparent worrying use of codeine, I'm not particular fond of taking any kind of medication...)

So what brought me harshly back into the cold, cruel world of reality? These five little words: "Please step on the scale."

I tried not to look. I swear. But noooooo, I had to look.

Uggh. It's official - I'm fat! I actually weigh 20 pounds more now than I did when I was hiking through New Zealand. 20 POUNDS PEOPLE!!!!! Granted I was very thin then; exercising a lot (no money for a car or public transport), not eating much (not much money for food and definitely no extras), but 20 pounds in three years. Yowsa!

Looks like my days of chocolate and never ending bon bons is over..And just in time for Christmas. Could my timing be any better?

Thursday, November 24, 2005

See, I told you he's perfect for me!

This article courtesy of :

George Clooney wants to hunt down a woman and won't consider dating anyone who has chased him. The sexy star says he likes to be the one seducer in a relationship - and not the other way round.

Clooney - who has an on/off romance with British TV presenter Lisa Snowdon - revealed: "I'm the old fashioned type who prefers to meet a woman in a normal setting."I don't like to feel that I'm being hunted down. I've always liked to do my own hunting when it comes to meeting women

"There's no challenge if you walk into a room and everyone recognises you It takes the suspense out of being the seducer"

Clooney also believes he won't consider having children until he can prove to himself he can hold down a relationship.

He told Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "I would need to show myself that I'm able to sustain a good long-term relationship before I could even imagine what being a father would be like"

Monday, November 21, 2005

My Life is a Far Side Cartoon

You know the one about the gifted kid? He's at the door below the sign "School for the Gifted" pushing with all his might against the door and the sign above the handle reads "pull".

That one.

On my floor at the office, you have to press a button for the door to release for you to exit. Sometimes I press the button and the door sticks and I lean against the door waiting for it to release like a moron.... and then there's the times I forget to push the button....

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Merry Christmas to me!!!

I have actually managed to buy a few Christmas presents already - which is a shocker because it's only November and I usually end up doing all my shopping on Christmas Eve - but there's always a first time for everything....

So, since I was in the spirit - okay I wasn't - it's takes a near-death experience to get Scrooge into the spirit and thankfully that hasn't happened.... - how bout since I was semi-organised this year? Anyway, for whatever reason I decided to go with the flow and do a little shopping again today.

And boy did I!!!

Lots and lots of presents for that special someone: ME!!!!

No kidding, I seriously bought myself a lot of stuff and NOTHING for anyone else. And I think I may just have spent enough that there's no funds left for anyone else...and I don't care!

Ain't Christmas grand?

Saturday, November 19, 2005


I saw my favourite constellation tonight.

I'd been out for a run and decided on my cool down walk, to walk the beach, take my shoes off and dip my feet in the ocean. As I was standing there with my feet immersed and the waves splashing my legs, I looked out across the water and there low on the horizon was Orion.

It was then that I suddenly realised it had been far too many nights since I had done some star gazing. It was also then that I realised how nice it was to have something familiar from home to look at....and how soon I'd be back again. (Yes, the first Christmas visit since I've moved and also the Christmas visit planned and paid for prior to the August visit which was a visit partly out of opportunity but mostly due to necessity - homesickness can do that to you....)

Since I returned in early September, I haven't really been looking forward to going home again because the trek is just so long. But I have to admit, tonight I miss home. And I'm looking forward to searching out Orion in the dark winter sky...

Friday, November 18, 2005

I'm such a brainiac...

that I forgot to lock my door.

Seriously, I came home from work today, put my key in the lock, turned it and there was absolutely no resistance...


I opened the door and examined the lock - and funny thing - it wasn't locking. I couldn't understand why. And then I remembered... last night I took the garbage to the disposal and I switched the deadbolt so I wouldn't lock myself out.

Seems I forgot to lock myself in.

All night.

And my place was unlocked all day. Good idea huh? Especially considering my neighbour was robbed not so long ago......

Not to worry though - nothing gone and no one hiding in any of my closets.


Thursday, November 17, 2005

Girl Savvy

Today was Girl Savvy day - and I've got to tell you - I'm exhausted!

My company being the community-minded company that it is - gives every employee one fully paid work day to do some kind of volunteer work, at the employee's choosing. Now most departments/divisions do something as a group, but a few weeks back I got asked to be part of a program that the Department of Women (yes, the Australian government has a department of women - do all countries have that??) runs called Girl Savvy. What is it? Well, I'll just quote:
Girl Savvy is an innovative one day workshop for young women with the aim to inspire, motivate and educate participants on the importance of being economically empowered and financially

You know, it was great. Really great. As part of the program, the girls are separated into groups of 6-8 girls and each group has a mentor work with them throughout the day. The mentors are business women from the workforce from a variety of occupations. Today - we had an entrepreneur, a horse trainer, a juvenile detention officer (didn't the girls behave today!), a professor, an executive assistant, a freelance photographer, a consulate person (what should I call her?) and a finance person (me). Just having representatives from such a wide range of industries and occupations showed the girls the variety that's out there - without us even needing to say a word.

And the girls? Well they were great. A little withdrawn at first - but on the whole, really interested - which is not the easiest thing to get 14-16 year old girls to be! They participated, they created products to sell, they did presentations (most of which were littered with giggles and blushing, but still done nonetheless...)

The best part of the program was the budgeting exercise. They had to pick a profession, then they had to choose what kind of life they wanted - ie. own a home, a car, shop a lot or a little, buy groceries or eat out - that kind of thing. After they had decided what they wanted, they then found out how much everything cost. One girl in my group had picked a job that paid $1,800 a month after tax and after subtracting all her expenses found she was over budget by $1,800. She was devastated that she wouldn't be able to afford clubbing every night of every weekend....

It was a huge eye opener for many of the girls when they discovered how little hairdressers made (which is what at least 50% of them wanted to be... and that childcare workers made even less, which is what another 40% of them wanted to be...). It made them think about their choices again. What they wanted to do with their lives - live big and expensive or do what they love or think about finding a way to do both.

What a great exercise - one I wish someone had taught me young. Well, I did understand that I couldn't spend money I didn't have - but I didn't understand the importance of saving at that age.

I meant to go back to work afterwards, but six hours with 15 year old girls? I'm exhausted!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

He's just reading over my script....

Think he'll say yes? Posted by Picasa

(PS - Can I get into trouble for 'borrowing' this picture?)

Only a week to go!

Until the Australian Idol Finale!!!!

This week, punk guy Lee was voted out. Who knew the Australia would actually be smart enough to pick the two people (and women I may add...) that can actually sing?

It's going to be a good one!

Then I'm going to have to get a life.....

Sunday, November 13, 2005

To the father of five on the beach today....

Why, oh why you had to choose to sit down only inches from me when the beach was virtually empty, Ill never know. But given the fact that it's a public beach, I really can't complain (just simply don't understand...) and once I got over the invasion of my personal space, I realised your kids were actually pretty decent kids and didn't really mind them almost stepping on me - and I actually even found your little 2 1/2-3 year pretty cute (in his excitement to go swimming he stripped off his clothes and was looking lost until his 6? 7? year old sister gave him his bathing suit).

I had adjusted. And then you spoke. ....Or perhaps I should say yelled...

At yourkids.

And I mean yelled.

Mister - they didn't deserve it. I understand that sometimes raising kids can be frustrating, trying on parental patience and no one's perfect, but in this instance? You should be so ashamed of yourself. I have a low tolerance for badly behaved children - and your kids are nowhere near that label. Maybe it's because of your yelling - but God there's got to be a better way to discipline your children.

From the things you said - your methods for instilling 'acceptable' behaviour make work in the short term, but they are going to create some fairly serious long term self-esteem issues at the least. I almost said something, and I still wonder if I should have.

If you're like this in public, I shudder to think how you speak to them in the privacy of your own home. Literally shudder. I so hope I got it all wrong.

Polar Bear Down Under

Went swimming for the first time this season yesterday...

Damn it was cold!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

The Migraine Queen

Starring my favourite person: ME!!!!!

As for the male lead, I haven't decided yet, but I'm thinking - based on he's gone public lately with his horrible headaches caused by a head injury on a movie set - George Clooney would be perfect.

The fact that he's scumpdelicious has absolutely nothing to do with it.

The fact that he's recently stated that he's getting ready to settle done? No influence on my decision.

Of course, it would only take a moment after meeting me for him to realise I'm the one for him. However, our first scene better not be the vomiting scene as it might be a bit of an uphill battle after that kind of introduction....

Ahhh, a few moments fantasy to help alleviate the pain.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

And I thought I was obsessed...

Check this out:

It's amazing the Australian government had the time to catch all those terrorists considering how much time and energy (and obviously research) they put into their debates over daylight savings.....

I feel so much better about myself!!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

My family is fucked

Seriously fucked. If this is a family member reading this - you know what I'm talking about.


I'd tell you all, but I'd just get in trouble.

See, the original intent of this blog was twofold:
1. Put some regularity/discipline around my writing.
2. While doing the above, talk about the joys and frustrations of living in a foreign land.

Part of the frustrations of living abroad is dealing with all the crap that still exists at home. But the problem is, in my excitement about getting into the writing groove, I've given this address and/or talked about my blog too much so now I can't well and truly vent.

So no story about my family today and no story about what unbelievably inappropriate thing that happened at work today.

Just know that I'm having difficulty drawing boundaries and that my family is fucked.


Monday, November 07, 2005

Note to self

Going for a run after eating a humungous bowl of ice cream is a bad day.

Trying to burn off those extra calories does not actually run you into thinness, it runs you into intestinal difficulties..... Ouch.

Should have waited until after the run to eat the ice cream.

P.S. bolding a word you're not sure how to spell is quite cocky...


Dan's gone!!!!

Who knew?

My most recent obsession....

Yes I'm talking about Australian Idol.....

Tonight's the result show. I'm hoping Lee goes, but I'm thinking that it might be Emily.

I will keep you posted. (I just know you're sitting on the edge of your seat!)

Sunday, November 06, 2005

I don't know if this will seal my fate....

but I've decided to buy a cat.

I've thought about buying a dog, but my life is not conducive to looking after a dog at the moment. I'm near the beach, so it would be great to go for a walk every evening, but I live in a flat and there's no outdoors just outside the door. And a dog is a lot of work for just me. What if I were to work late? Who would feed the dog dinner? Take him for a walk?

But the thought of coming home each night to a furry face that's happy to see me....well, it's just SO appealing.

But, if you no can do a dog would a cat be a good substitute, no?

I mean, there's no way a cat will great me at the door wagging its tail with a "I'm so happy you're home" message, but maybe a "where you been, I'm hungry. Wait! No touching until I see some food lady!" message will be a sufficient substitute.

And a cat doesn't take up the whole bed.

I'm thinking I really like this idea.....

I know, I know, single woman with cats does not "a guy magnet" make, but hey, it's not like men are exactly beating down my door at the moment (least none in this country) and besides - at least I'd have someone/something to keep me warm at night!!!!!

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Women over 30

A friend sent me the following - I had to share....

This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes

Andy Rooney says: As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What
are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it.
She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

I crack me up

Seriously - sometimes I'm the funniest person I know.

I've been emailing back and forth with this out-of-town guy (who shall remain nameless) and just recently, the idea of meeting up again when I'm home at Christmas has been broached. Now, this guy has some major other life commitments which restrict his ability to pick up and leave at a moment's notice - especially around Christmas. I know about them and have no issues with them - but he either thinks I don't get it, or there's someone in his past that didn't get it so he's being extra-cautious.

His first email said he'd like to see me and wanted to know my travel dates to see if he could swing it, but he wasn't sure. In his second email on the subject he said he was trying to figure out his schedule but he couldn't make any promises. In his third email, he said he was "eyeing my dates with interest but could make no promises" (where does he get this shit from?)

My thoughts? I'm not really fussed, if he wants to come and he can, then he will, but there's little I can do to influence the situation and truly - I only want to see him if he wants to see me. It's just he's being extra-cautious super-careful about managing my expectations (ie. not committing) that it's cracking me up. So, my response?

"What do you mean it's not a for sure? I've already organised a party in your honour, the relatives are coming in to meet you..... My mother's very excited."
He'll either think it's funny or I'm spending Christmas alone....

Ah well, at least I think I'm funny.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

From Beginning to End...

My day began with me stepping in the shower, only to suddenly discover (and I do mean suddenly) that there was no hot water.

My day ended with me Epilating my legs (trying to do stuff at night instead of the morning when I'm more dexterous..) and accidentally getting my hair - the hair on my head, that is - caught in my Epilator. It took me twenty minutes to unroll it....

Beginning to end - that was my day.

How was yours?